It matters how well you have been loved. It also matters how well you love. I listened to a sermon recently that quoted John Eldridge from the Sacred Romance. He wrote something to the effect that it is a rare person who has been unconditionally loved, or "loved for who she is…" The implication is […]
One of the most poignant and powerful illustrations of the rhythm of significant relationships is the stages of separation that John Bowlby observed in young children experiencing separation from parents. While they are more obvious in children who generally have little difficulty expressing their emotional and physical reactions to things they don't like, the same […]
Last week I opened my local paper and in the Health and Family an article caught my attention: "…sexual marathon helped rebuild their marriage." The article reviewed a couple of books about consecutive nights of sex with their spouse and the positive effect it had on their marital relationship. One of the books is by […]
I have been on vacation and then catching up from vacation so I have not taken the time to write. My vacation with my family and extended family was rewarding and rejuvenating; it was a time of recreation. The word recreation is a great word; its spelling implies its meaning: to re-create ourselves, to […]
How satisfied are you in your marriage? That is a loaded question for many couples. One of the marital satisfaction assessments I use with couples I see for counseling a very pointed question is asked: "Would you marry the same person again?" Obviously a "No" answer is an indication of just how difficult saving this […]
I regularly counsel couples whose marriages are struggling. It is something of a passion of mine to help preserve marriages. My marriage has lasted 19 years this week, May 14th. Notice how I say "lasted" as if it is supposed to not last. I should say I have been married 19 years. I never really […]
Any one of us knows the joy and pain of relationships. Of course this statement fits only if we are emotionally engaged with them. It is the "stuff" that makes relationships dynamic and vibrant. It is also the stuff that makes them painful and difficult. What does it mean to be emotionally engaged and how […]
We all know that those closest to us are the ones that can hurt us. The members of our family or our spouse are those with whom we are most vulnerable and therefore most exposed to being disappointed. When we are vulnerable we open ourselves by letting down our guard and allowing those who love […]
There were a couple of new events recently that caught anyone's attention who saw them. One was the brutal beating of a young girl shown on You Tube by her so called friends and the other was a report on out of control behavior by students on spring break. According to the Florida story on […]
Every week couples come into my office facing a crisis in their marriage. They are typically at the end of their rope with each other and are often ready to separate. They are asking the question would I be better off if I were not with this person. They are wondering if their life would […]
