How satisfied are you in your marriage? That is a loaded question for many couples. One of the marital satisfaction assessments I use with couples I see for counseling a very pointed question is asked: "Would you marry the same person again?" Obviously a "No" answer is an indication of just how difficult saving this […]
I regularly counsel couples whose marriages are struggling. It is something of a passion of mine to help preserve marriages. My marriage has lasted 19 years this week, May 14th. Notice how I say "lasted" as if it is supposed to not last. I should say I have been married 19 years. I never really […]
Any one of us knows the joy and pain of relationships. Of course this statement fits only if we are emotionally engaged with them. It is the "stuff" that makes relationships dynamic and vibrant. It is also the stuff that makes them painful and difficult. What does it mean to be emotionally engaged and how […]
We all know that those closest to us are the ones that can hurt us. The members of our family or our spouse are those with whom we are most vulnerable and therefore most exposed to being disappointed. When we are vulnerable we open ourselves by letting down our guard and allowing those who love […]
There were a couple of new events recently that caught anyone's attention who saw them. One was the brutal beating of a young girl shown on You Tube by her so called friends and the other was a report on out of control behavior by students on spring break. According to the Florida story on […]
Every week couples come into my office facing a crisis in their marriage. They are typically at the end of their rope with each other and are often ready to separate. They are asking the question would I be better off if I were not with this person. They are wondering if their life would […]
Easter is the most important, significant, and meaningful remembrance of Jesus. And yet it receives much less publicity and celebration than Christmas. This might be because generally it is much easier for us to become excited and celebrate a baby's birth than a man's murder. The birth of a baby is also common to human […]
This is the week of Easter, what is sometimes referred to as Passion or Holy Week. It is when Christians remember in a variety of ways Jesus' death on the Cross, our Lord's answer to the problem sin. It is fitting that last week the Vatican released an expansion of the seven deadly sins (http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/03/13/new.sins/?iref=mpstoryview) […]
I am experiencing the privilege of having conversations with Dr. Sharon Hart May, the author of books on safe haven marriages. Her latest book, How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen is one I give to every couple I counsel. My conversations by teleconference are focusing on EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy, an approach […]
I love (no pun intended) this quote from Henri Nouwen (a well known and respected Catholic theologian and spiritual director) about what love means: "Love means intimacy, closeness, mutual vulnerability, and a deep sense of safety." Obviously, I do not feel close to or intimate with his quote so my use of "love" is more […]
