The primary factor for satisfied and happy relationships is being emotionally attuned. As couples we are in an almost constant dance of emotional signals that are cuing in on connection. When we lose connection, get into a fight or argument it is always because of a miss of being out of tune emotionally with our partner, it is never really about the subject or context of disagreement. Something has happened in our interaction that has made us experience emotional disconnection and we become self protective, no longer open and vulnerable to each other. This happens in a fraction of a second and propels us into a spiral of fear and doubt about our partner. You are suddenly on guard and ramping up your favorite protective measures like blaming and defending.
Effective couples therapy is able to help you identify and improve your dance of attunement with your partner by helping you pay attention to what matters, how we lose connection and how we restore it.
